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PartyOn050488
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Name: Ju
Birthday: 5/4/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: Hockey!!! talking with friends, water polo!, sledding, tubeing, swimming, summer, scary movies, and laughing.
Message: message me
AIM:  jewel40001
Member Since:
2/24/2005
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| Wow I can't beleive I actually found this old xanga, it is like I left it for facebook or who knows why I left it. I am not going to write in this I think ever but it is still nice to have I guess haha I love my old entry, I think that is quality writing right there, it still rings true to some extent and I can't beleive it has been a year since I wrote almost! But I like the entry it is good stuff, if you haven't read it, do it! | | |
| I have been thinking so much lately about how things have been going with me and with high school. For me it is like waiting for the end of high school to come and it is coming so slow. I look back and I think of all that I use to have and I regret how much I have lost. What I am left with is myself and that is just the person who I seem to be left with most of my time growing up. I think of how many friends I have made but how most of them never really made true bonds with me and just seem to see me around at school. It is getting harder and harder as high school is ending relizing how I am not really included in much. I can not tell you how tired I am of being alone. Not just with boys but with friends too. It is amazing how badly I want out just so I can try to make friends who will know who I really am and except me anyway and want to be around me. But it also amazes me how much I am scared that when I step out on my own it won't be that easy. When I think back to how different things are then junior year even it makes me sad and brings me to reality at the same time. I think of how friendships change and groups break apart. How you relize who your real friends are that you might care about after high school and won't just leave a horrible memory. I think of how I had someone who was my best friend who is now lost. How we turned into one of the many aquintances we have and are not there for each other to turn to anymore. Who knows how or when this happened but it does. But how insane is it that we both wish it were different but something is standing in the way and neither of us know how to make things better. I think of how different hockey will be this year and it makes me want to cry. How I don't even have a crush on a hockey boy this year and how different everyone is going to be in the stands. It is crazy how everyone relies so much on their words now and no body really acts on what they say. How everyone is out to back stab the next and how the things you do good for youself and others don't make you feel good anymore. How everyone feels depressed and screams out for help but since everyone is screaming no one can hear anyone else to listen and help. How no one takes the time to get to know anybody but still is concerned about what they think about them. How the one person I wish I could hang out with more never can and even though I know he says different how much it still hurts me everyday and sometimes makes me cry. It is all the little things that suck that just surround you and swallow the good things. Will anyone ever take the time to just know me and who I am and where I am coming from or is the one person who was my one chance to be the one to listen gone now? Did I blow it or do things happen for a reason? All I know is that when it hurts everyday you wonder if it is just you and you are crazy or is everything else crazy and your the only one sane?
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| Me and Katie  homecoming was alright. I loved hanging out with my friends in the beginning but the dance was kinda lame, oh well | | |
| I'm out for now, I don't think I will be writing much in this anymore unless something is bugging me | | |
| I have made my decision and I am not going to put up with it anymore, it's done | | |
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